It's Something Personal

So in the past couple weeks, I have been really busy. But then I had some family members come into town, so I dropped everything and hung out for a while.

I have 4 live contracts right now, and one longer-term commitment. I have been writing and coding like a fiend - cranking out some of my best work ever.

So when these people came into town, I had to decide - stay on track, and keep slamming the deadlines, or take a few days off, go see some touristy things and spend some time with my family.

I opted for plan B here.

The Reason You Freelance
There might be many reasons for someone to get started in freelancing. For me, it was a way to build myself professionally while also retaining a sense of freedom in what I do, maintaining an ability to never stop enjoying life.

The past week had me at a fork in the road. I have been working like crazy lately - doing a ton of work for some great people. But my family doesn't make it to where I am too often, so I had to decide: do I risk my work flow, and possibly rock the relationships with my clients just to claim some "me" time?

Proud to say, the answer was yes. I was absolutely ready to risk what I was building for what I believed in. I felt this was a clear illustration of why I do what I do.

Besides, there was a Monet exhibition at the Atlanta High Museum, so I took my parents and we really had a time of things. I made big meals, we played cards and talked for a couple days in a row. It was wonderful, and I didn't even crack a laptop once the whole time.

Not Without Guilty Pangs
While I was enjoying time with my family, I didn't think much about work. But when I came back to it, I was pretty stressed. I had let my clients know that I had unexpected guests in an email to each of them. Two had responded pretty quickly and did not mind at all, but the other 2 were pretty quiet.

In fact, I didn't hear from them for 2 days.

What this did, was start the waves of guilt. I don't typically put my needs before the needs of my clients, so I was feeling a little guilty about doing it, even though I had tried to let them know. I was working on all 4 contracts again, but the fact that only 2 were acknowledging the fact I was a few days behind was messing with my head.

Then, on the third day, I heard from one more client, who was also fine with the delay. It so happened to be that he was out of town for a few days, and did not care at all that things were a few days later.

That left only one. And the buckets of self-loathing I was now sweating every day.

A Happy Ending
Glad to say, it all worked out fine. Better than fine, really...because I was reminded why I do what I do as a freelance seo writer - it's worth it helping good people.

As the week wore on, though I was working on 4 different projects, I dove particularly hard into the one client's contract. The guilt was now a sea, and I was far, far below the surface.

I was wondering if he was thinking of me as a guy who made excuses. I was wondering if he forgot that I had written many great pages for his website already. I even started wondering if he hated me, and thought I was not worth the efforts. (yes, it was pathetic)

But experience has shown me this is just in my head - and I need to simply relax, and let things work out how they will. I at least know now, not to do anything until I mellow out. It passes very quickly, and it is part of why I can do great work, because it matters to me, freelance seo writing is something I take very seriously. I take my work very personally.

And sure enough, in came his email.

The Pay-Off
This client reminded me why I hand-pick my clients now. He said, of course he understood, and he was glad I took the time off. He mentioned that my choice is the same one he would have made, and even though he wants his work done, he certainly wants me to be happy - so all was well.

The moral of all this, is I take what I do personally. This means some ups and downs, some anxieties and some celebrations. It means I am more than likely to occasionally demand some "me" time. Unfortunately, sometimes it means that I bring my personal baggage into the arena. I am working on making this not happen, but we are what we are, right?

And my clients are great folks. My folks are great folks.
And there is plenty of room in my life for all of them.